It's not Global Warming!

The following is a personal rant.

Let me say this first: There is no doubt that the excessive amount of greenhouse gases that are currently produced due to human causes is one of the most important and potentially catastrophic events facing the world today. Without a drastic and immediate change in policy, the world will face an almost inescapable disaster.

However, can we please stop with all this inappropriate panic about what we think is global warming?! This warm winter we're having is NOT a result of global warming. Every time we have an exceptionally hot day in summer or winter, I get so tired of hearing people say that the nearly 30 degree increase in average temperature is a direct result of global warming. It is like a catch phrase, a shrug your shoulders and say, "Gee, that Global Warming will getcha every time, Mildred." Mildred is not fucking impressed by your pseudo-scientific ideas. And if she is, and she fucks you a little harder that night, well, you're a pseudo-science whore, and I have no respect for you.

I've always far preferred the term Climate Change, which still includes the human component (Climate Variability implies the normal change in climate that occurs due to natural causes) and implies the far more drastic effect of greenhouse gases. Should the polar ice caps melt, disrupting the gulf stream which is responsible for the mild temperatures found in most of the US and Europe (and that isn't me being Amero-Eurocentric - that is just where the effects really are), then those currently mild areas will face harsh summers and harsh winters. Overall, a climate change. The earth is not just going to get hotter and hotter until we are all sitting out on the beach (located in Ohio) wearing SPF3000. It is a more complicated idea and far more drastic than people realize. Which is why I like the term climate change. And hate people. So try that on Mildred, or Jack, or whoever you try to impress. Because if they last a little longer in bed for you tonight because you described the real effects of the rising temperatures, then you've got a really beautiful thing going for you. For now, I'm going to put back on my jacket. I'm freezing.